Thursday, September 21, 2006
A Sense of Betrayal
Sense of Betrayal = Sense of Foolishness + Sense of Anguish + A Stark Realization at the ugliness of the World + Sense of Being Used + Shedding of some Naivete + Building barrier to protect self.
It's a very yucky feeling especially when your intention was to love another in compassion and you took the risk to basically trust someone despite knowing that person's dubious past. It's like hugging someone when you know the person possesses a knife believing that he will not stab you but in the end he did. Ouch. Pain worsens when you find out that you had unknowingly been made the accomplice of his selfish schemes. Why didn't you sense the obvious warning signs? You ask yourself. You would have stopped a person from getting his way if you had been more objective or if you had not been so personal.
Lesson learnt: When you are in a position where your decision of someone's direction affects more than just you and the other person it is important to be objective and not allow your world to become revolving around you and that person alone. For no one else can be responsible for your actions or consequences and everyone is depending on you to make a wise decision.
Honestly this is not the first time I've been betrayed. Basically it's cos I prefer to believe that the people around are good in nature; just that they are being misled. I'm beginning to realize that's a half truth, because a person is responsible for the choices he/she makes. One plays a part in allowing oneself to be misled. Time to grow up.
Mantou at 9:57 PM