Thursday, November 16, 2006
Fake Somebody Real Nobody
Many years ago I shared a hobby with my buddy; we'd watch movies at the then happening Ngee Ann poly library. Every movie we watched would remain etched in our minds and permeate from our bodies. We'd imitate and re-enact what we just watched and it'd be the topic for at the very least one week. Those were the days. Well my point is, I once watched this movie called The Talented Mr. Ripley (awesome stuff) and there was this famous quote that goes: "Jazz.. Jazz is just.. Insolent Music". Bull. Actually it was: "I'd rather be a fake somebody than a real nobody" (Now my blog title makes sense aye). Just let me rant alright it's not everytime when you find yourself alone in the house in the middle of the night. I think I'm getting soft. Used to look forward to times like these in the past. Could do just about anything. Now it only amplifies the fact that we're all under one roof living separate lives.
I find myself at the place where I'm asking myself this question tonight. Sometimes I find myself trying to be a fake somebody. Only to find myself to be a real nobody at the end of the day. When the curtain's drawn and the mask is removed and I find myself again I wonder what the act was for. Actually looking back from where I came from I'm much more comfortable being a real nobody nowadays. Cos it means I can let someone else be somebody. A Real Somebody. In me. Nowadays I'd rather give a flawed opinion that's subject to correction than a measured opinion that leaves no room for further conversation. Like opinions that would be widely agreed upon. Applauded upon. Cos truth as it's made out to be ain't really that popular. Beliefs are about as individual as fingerprints nowadays. Wondering when I get have enough confidence and security to just air my opinions without trying to be too diplomatic about it. As if everybody around me is super fragile and could crack if I made an insensitive remark. I'm too quirky in that way. Trying to be a gentleman or something you know. And talking about quirks check out this list I have. Good friends can probably point out a thousand more:
- Compelled to walk in the same rhythm as anyone walking next to me. Even when going up the stairs.
- Making guitar chords in the air from time to time. Watch my left hand when I'm alone in public. I will gnarl my fingers as though I were spastic or something.
- Possess a chest that's too puffed up for my own good. It's been the subject of ridicule among friends who couldn't care to be sensitive or 'Christ-like'.
- Possess pneumatic looking fingers.
- Possess a long neck.
- Have a buddy I hang out with almost religiously it's causing ppl to think we're more than friends. (I shall not care to elaborate the terms of reference)
The list goes on.. Love me or hate me. I honestly don't care. And I mean it.
Mantou at 11:48 PM