Wednesday, May 23, 2007
The joy of being a blessing
You know I'm beginning to notice a strange phenomenon. We Christians seem to have a weird sense of finding joy in the things we do. Sure, we all have our interests and passions. But there's this other faculty I don't ever recall having before I was a Christian. Who in their right or left mind would risk being hurt to bring joy to someone else?
This post, I have many things to share about this topic.
First, Mother's Day. Yes, the occasion so dreadfully mentioned a few posts back. I did go get the gift, and a card, and wrote some mushy stuff on it, and left it on the dining table, addressed to my mom. Others may think this is something very menial and not worth mentioning, but put in the context that I was hurt a gazillion times by her and it already sounds like a miracle that I make that move. In response, I get an sms that expresses her gratitude as well as a request to have meals together. I take the opportunity to invite her out for a meal at Soup Spoon, knowing she loves cream soups. All this while, at the back of my mind, I must have told myself I must be nuts, that I don't know what I'm getting myself into. But on the other hand, I know a side of me is relieved and quite happy that my gesture did make way for a reconciliation. It doesn't mean the road ahead is a bed of roses, but it does mean I keep walking in His will. And that makes me feel safe. Somehow.
Second, there's my ministry in the bowling team. A door was open for me to introduce God to them through singing worship songs and saying a short prayer before every competition. I was really scared at that notion, because this was a team that was a majority of unbelievers. To sing worship songs would mean blatantly declaring God's presence in the place aka suicide. Well it's not that bad but I seriously doubted that was a wise idea. But things made sense after a while and I did go ahead with the idea and found myself singing 'You never let go' with the kids on the first day of the competition. To cut the long story short, there were varied responses, from neutral to outright protest that it's a waste of time, to outright participating in the singing. Over the few days of competition it felt like a roller coaster ride for me, being encouraged at one point that my efforts were appreciated, and being discouraged at another when I saw a card I made for them being crumpled and unappreciated by another. And again I found myself wondering, why am I putting myself through this? Why risk getting laughed at, jeered at, rejected and hurt as an expense from blessing them with God's love? And I was laughed at, my efforts ignored and even protested against. I got the feeling that they held no regard for me as a mentor at all. But I ignored all those nagging negative thoughts and went on anyway trying to be faithful in making use of the opportunity as best as I could. I can say it paid off well, cos God opened my eyes to see one person in there who was ready to receive the good news, and answered my prayer to supernaturally intervene to ensure a glorious victory for him. More on that next time, but my point is, it's just something I find so amazing and perplexing all at the same time. Where are we getting the strength and resolve to risk our own comfort being threatened to be a blessing to others?
Sometimes it takes the form of giving up our own selfish ways. We all would not mind being a selfless person if it helps you gain recognition and reputation. That's the irony. 'I wanna be selfless cos that's culturally accepted in the Christian context', one might think. Well, the truth is it goes against our human nature to be selfless, or at least quit being selfish, and sure hurts as hell because all that's left is a trust that God will provide for you in return. And we all know how painful it is to be waiting.
Being a blessing means you give up taking centerstage, and letting God take the glory, and the blessed take the - well, blessing. The good news is we could never have been able to bless if we weren't blessed ourselves. But to him/her who has, more shall be given! So that we will keep on magnifying His glory! Awesome stuff huh? Not quite, cos it's tough to do that sometimes. Especially when being a blessing involves having to make some hard decisions that can be misunderstood. But oh well, no need for risk = no need for hope = no need for trust = no need for God = no need for living purposefully. Period.
Mantou at 11:58 PM