Monday, July 02, 2007
Someone believes? | quelqu'un croit?
This is probably one post that's hard to digest. Cos I can hardly comprehend it myself. I was on my way home on the train and listening to Lisa Ono and suddenly this thought caught my attention. 'I need someone to believe in me'. Just like how a music producer believes in the artiste and grooms him/her and pushes him/her to hit that note the artiste probably never thought he/she could hit.
I guess we all need someone to believe in us. It goes beyond acceptance, this belief. It's almost a celebration of the person, but a quiet one; just like a kid who owns a dog and observes its daily behavior, and one day trains it to fetch the newspaper. He'd quietly celebrate cos he kinda knew it'd be able to do it, if given the right training. I'm just gonna let this thought sink in for a while..
Cos I can't really answer the next question. Believe in me? For what? Is it to do something? To be someone? Do what? Be who? Ok so it's not just one question. I guess though God has a reason for putting this thought in me. I prayed a pretty bold prayer today. I told Him I didn't want to stay on the fringes of His will anymore, but press in to the center of His will, whatever it is. Be the way I was made. That kinda prayer's scary. You gotta be ready when you pray like that to go on a journey beyond your wildest imagination. But I guess it's one thing to just experience fragments of Him and settle for that. I'm a little sick of that.
So, could God mean I need someone who believes that I am serious about being wholly devoted to Him? A godly person who knows a genuine seeker when he sees one? I don't even know if I'm genuine. What if I were to make a bold statement as this, that there's nothing else in this life that's worth pursuing but to do His will? What if I got more excited about talking about God than to talk about the latest fashion trend or movie screening? Would I face ridicule? Chiding? Don't be so naive? Square? You can say that now cos you're on fire, just wait till you're dry? If you decide to make Christianity your obsession you'll be disillusioned, there must be a balance? Questions questions questions... Life seems to have an endless supply of that, but a shortage in demand for answers..
This brings to mind the sermon that spoke to me on Sun. It's based on Psalms 3, a psalm of David in a time when his very own son wanted to kill him and he was reduced from a king to a refugee. Here's what I remember:
Psalm 3
Save Me, O My God
A Psalm of David, when he fled from Absalom his son.
O LORD, how many are my foes!
Many are rising against me;
many are saying of my soul,
there is no salvation for him in God.
Selah
Problem; darkness always seems imminent.
But you, O LORD, are a shield about me,
my glory, and the lifter of my head.
I cried aloud to the LORD,
and he answered me from his holy hill.
Selah
Presence; in whatever circumstance, the truth is God is always there, ready to deliver you.
I lay down and slept;
I woke again, for the LORD sustained me.
I will not be afraid of many thousands of people
who have set themselves against me all around.
Peace; with knowledge that God Himself is in Sovereign control.
Arise, O LORD!
Save me, O my God!
For you strike all my enemies on the cheek;
you break the teeth of the wicked.
Plea; knowing God will answer but has yet to do so.
Salvation belongs to the LORD;
your blessing be on your people!
Selah
Praise; For a God faithful and just.
The punchline: Problems will not have the last laugh. Praise will.
Mantou at 11:16 PM