Monday, August 27, 2007
In the presence of a holy God
As I sank into the sofa of my living room, memory after memory pushed itself up like bubbles surfacing in the water till I could hold it no more. 'All this while, You've been holding me steady Lord. Through the storms, the darkest hours, You held me steady Lord. And You showed me so much grace I just don't deserve it'. The tears were flowing freely now.
''You're proved righteous when You judge Lord.
You're proved loving when You comfort.
You're proved gracious when You forgive Lord.
You're proved compassionate when You console.
You're proved Almighty when You deliver.
You're proved faithful when You promise.
And to whom do You prove yourself to?
To me, even me, who is so small and undeserving of Your notice.
Why do You even subject Yourself to all kinds of hurt just to prove Yourself to me?
I know that I'll forever need You to hold me steady, as long as I live.
No matter what You call me to do, I know I'll stumble and fall.
Only Your grace is sufficient for me.'
Sometimes the Word of God just proves itself relevant in our lives. The sacrifices of God are a contrite spirit and a broken heart. These He will not despise. Are you ready to taste and see that the Lord is good?
Mantou at 10:51 PM
Friday, August 17, 2007
These small wonders
Sometimes God likes to plant these little wonders in times when you least expected it. Talk about being the Creator. He sure is creative.
First, I bumped into a student that responded to a response slip during Christian Mission Week. Knew this student quite well from Orientation. So i just made a detour en route to COR office and walked with him a bit to just find out how receptive he was to talk more about his response. At that point in time he kinda felt a little awkward but he still managed to be humorous which is a good sign. Then it started to pour really heavily. So I asked him how he intended to go home as I felt it was probably on everyone's mind. He, like the youths of today just said 'Like that lor, I don't know'. Somehow as youths we don't think enough aye.. Totally understand. So anyway I thought it'd be a good time to bless him so I lent him my umbrella claiming that I can go back and get another one. He gratefully accepted it and kinda said he'd return me tmr or something.. (haha, obviously not thinking straight)
Well the truth was that I had no more umbrella left and was prepared to chiong through the rain past the basketball court. I went up the stairs and to my surprise I saw a boy coming down the most unlikely place, the roof of the building next to the baptism pool! Like who would be there at this time? Actually I saw the umbrella before the person. So I just asked him whether he could ferry me across and he kindly agreed. So we had a good start in introduction and here's how it went.
Me: What's your name?
Him: Huh? Uh, Jeremiah.
Me: Nice name. Which church do you go to? (made the intelligent guess that he was a Christian)
Jeremiah: Huh? Don't think you've ever heard of it.
Me: What's the name?
Him: Ceylon Chapel.
Me: Is it at Ceylon Road? (Trying to make another intelligent guess)
Him: No. (Gua gua)
Me: I see. Thank God. He is so faithful.
Him: Amen. (Must be Anglican)
Me: Are you a Christian? (You can never be too sure) Do you believe in God?
Him: Yes. (Probably quite taken aback by my forthcoming questions)
Me: That's cool. Well He's real and He's good. You know I just lent my friend my umbrella and that's why I was without an umbrella. I never expected I'd bump into you and get sheltered through.
Him: Oh, ya. God is good. (I should have said 'All the time')
Me: Amen. Where are you going?
Him: Huh, I'm going home.
Me: Are your parents Christian too?
Him: Ya.
Me: Wow.. What are they doing?
Him: Mom's a secretary, Dad teaches at NTU.
Me: Cool.
This guy also has a younger sis in P5. He sent me to the doorstep of DCB and we parted from there. Real blessing. What I like was how the conversation edified the both of us. And how even as strangers we could discuss so openly about God. Where the Spirit is there is liberty. Amen.
Mantou at 10:32 PM
Thursday, August 16, 2007
At Bethel
At Bethel (House of God) Jacob met God. At Peniel he got confronted about the nature that was implied in his name (supplanter, deceiver). At Peniel he was given a new name. Israel.
Very often the nature within ourselves hinders us from the blessings of God, and hinders us from being a blessing to others. Worse, the nature we have hinders the intimacy we can have with God and with others.
Today I am frustrated at the way my nature disallows me to see my Heavenly Father as being tender and loving, to feel the nearness and warmth of His love. To engage in intimate conversation with my Creator and Father. The key word is engage. Sometimes it's not that I can't speak to Him. I tell Him what I can as the Spirit leads. But my ears need a whole lot of unstopping. Hearing from Him is a rarity. And often delayed from the time I am in conversation with Him; I hear Him speak to me through a word later in the day, or a verse someone shares. This should not be the case! Quiet time will become a mindless chore if it's not a time of encounter with the living God.
I got a whole lot of soul searching to do to see why I can't hear from Him when I pray. While it has been said that when you don't hear from God you trust His character, this is about intimacy with a relational God. I can't imagine how long I can go on waking up so early to seek His face in the wee hours of morning only to 'feel good' that I've done my QT. I truly give thanks to God that things have changed so much for me, but in this outburst of honesty I hope to confront the very nature I have, the mindsets I'm holding on to. Leviticus calls it 'afflicting of your soul'. Sounds harsh, but the idea is to ransack your soul to search for that which is hindering.
'For this is what my soul longs for, there's nothing I want more'
Mantou at 11:37 PM