Thursday, September 13, 2007
It's been a while..
Yeah it's really been quite a while since I last blogged in here. Kinda missed blogging. =)
Well I must log this lesson too cos I think it's one of the most important lessons in Christianity. In many ways it's a fundamental basic, and something that I might have to revisit from time to time, no matter how matured I am in my walk. It's called brokenness.
You see, there's enough warning in the Bible about pride taking over and to 'guard your heart', to take heed that I don't fall, just when I think I'm standing in the faith. I believe it's because it's one of the greatest trap for any Christian. At any level. There's always that ol' devil.
I've been growing really close to my Heavenly Father and it's just been getting really exciting to see the many victories that have been won in many areas of my life. Yet because I have never reached this level of intimacy in my walk before, I began to think that a little compromise here and there would not matter. Especially when many responsibilities start piling in. And even more so when you start to 'notice' the lack of godliness in other people, or the newfound 'godliness' in you that's waiting and raring to go. But it's really so subtle you can hardly notice the change in you until it bears its fruit, or rather it rears its ugly head. I might as well have been the fanatic that stands by the pavement and exhorts for people to 'repent for the end is near'.
I have learnt that no spiritual fruit, or any result that is Kingdom-worthy can ever be borne out of human wisdom. And no significant change can ever result when you walk by sight and not by faith. When you get so absorbed in what you're doing that you forget who you are being. It's one of those times when you feel completely out of place (either in the presence of God or other people) that you begin to question what kind of thoughts you have been entertaining. As I brought my case before God, about why I was feeling so lousy and condemned even at this point of my walk (I wake in wee hours to do my QT and journal at night, praying and talking to my Father daily, being led by the Spirit in my ministry to others), the humbling answer comes; compromise. It's like Esau and Jacob. Compromise is always born out of a heart of ingratitude or nonchalance, as well as pride. Esau gave up his birthright just for a morsel of meat. Being judgmental instead of trusting in the sovereignty of God was another. Oh well, I could go on and on, but I guess all in all I wanna say that the Christian walk is always a balancing act - we're on a straight and narrow path. We could always swing to one extreme or the other. Pride and self exaltation waits on one end. Fear and lack of confidence waits on the other.
Yet one thing I have experienced; in all my failures as long as I come before God and seek His forgiveness, my alabaster jar breaks and His fragrance fills my life once again. He is a faithful God that does not despise a broken spirit and a contrite heart.
""Come now, let us reason together,"
says the LORD.
"Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool.
If you are willing and obedient,
you will eat the best from the land;
but if you resist and rebel,
you will be devoured by the sword."
For the mouth of the LORD has spoken. - Isaiah 1:18-19
Mantou at 11:01 PM