Sunday, September 30, 2007
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday
'Maybe the old songs will bring back the old times' - Barry Manilow, Old Songs.
There's just a dull ache that I can't deny when I take the time to reminisce on history as it had been for the past few months. So I decided to listen to this old song once more, and found it really said so much about what I am feeling at this point in time.
The last three months have been a really special time for me, and as with other times, you don't really notice it till it's gone. I feel like Time has given me the sly this time around and made me feel like it was going to last forever while the going was good, and now would choose to give way to Reality who has the knack of hitting you like a brick wall (one does get poetic when emo aye).
I truly got a taste of what people meant when they said they are getting mixed emotions about leaving. Thought it was always just a safe phrase to use that will not rock the boat. But this time I really felt like that! On one hand I was grateful for the incubative nature of the three months - the growth it had caused in me; on the other hand I was sad to leave the many friendships I had forged during the last three months but am afraid will wane off soon enough. On yet another hand I was moved by what God has shown me and how He has worked in me to change my heart. I was also apprehensive and anticipative of what the future held henceforth. I know for sure I had forever charted an entirely different course and can never carry on like I used to. The graduation culminated with a mission trip to Tanjong Balai. I noticed the difference in my outlook. It confirmed the impact Tung Ling had on me.
Balai leaves for another chapter altogether. I am now too tired to log it in. =) Ciao.
Mantou at 10:57 PM