Tuesday, April 29, 2008

You got me thinking..

God has this interesting way of getting us started on thinking about the things that really matter, to Him concerning us. Only His mercy could have paved the way for repeated warnings, revelations and exhortations. It is really true that as we continue to search for Him in all that we do - that is, we continue to make sense of everything that is happening around us from His perspective; regardless of how many times we hit brick walls - we will find Him. A lot of people will mistake that making sense of circumstances for disillusionment. I too fell prey to that many times. But as I continue to hit brick walls, God's faithfulness patiently produced in me discernment between the two in my own life. Disillusionment happened in two ways for me. In my bid to make sense of things and see how God fits into the whole picture, I jumped to conclusions based on common teachings and assumptions of Christianity. For example, when my girlfriend broke up with me shortly after I became a Christian, in order to cope with the loss, I spiritualized the happenings and rationalized that God had closed the door on an unhealthy relationship. In order words, I used God to cushion the effects of the loss. Disillusionment also swung to the other extreme for me; that I thought making sense of everything from His perspective was naive; that doing that was being disillusioned.

There is a point when you swing to both extremes so much that you will come full circle and find yourself back where God intended you to get to in the first place. So now I'm back again to considering with God things that really matter to Him concerning me. My views on my family, relationships, financial matters, ministry and how it can bring glory to Him. And it just happened through a series of events: Sunday's sermon, a book I had put aside for the longest time, and daily QT that seemed to speak so relevantly to my situations. His Word is alive and brings life. And His mercy endureth forever. A God of mercy must first have the power to judge righteously before being able to display mercy or mercy would just be a sign of weakness.

Whoa. This post is super preachy. Don't get it wrong. I'm not preaching to my readers but to myself. But I am sharing what I'm preaching to myself to my readers. =) I read this book by John Piper called 'Battling Unbelief' and I like what he wrote about fighting the good fight.

"The great error that I am trying to explode is the error that says, "Faith in God is one thing and the fight for holiness is another thing. You get your justification by faith, and you get your sanctification by works. You start the Christian life in the power of the Spirit, you press on in the efforts of the flesh. The battle for obedience is optional because only faith is necessary for final salvation" ... Faith alone is the instrument that unites us to Christ who is our righteousness and the ground of our justification. But the purity of life that confirms faith's reality is also essential for final salvation, not as the ground for our right standing, but as the fruit and evidence that we are vitally united by faith to Christ who alone is the ground of our acceptance with God."

Lastly, a story from a friend that I thought was so true..

Several years ago, a preacher from out-of-state accepted a call to a
church in Houston , Texas . Some weeks after he arrived, he had an occasion
to ride the bus from his home to the downtown area. When he sat
down, he discovered that the driver had accidentally given him a
quarter too much change.
As he considered what to do, he thought to himself, "You'd
better give the quarter back. It would be wrong to keep it." Then he
thought, "Oh, forget it, it's only a quarter. Who would worry
about this little amount? Anyway, the bus company gets too much fare;
they will never miss it. Accept it as a 'gift from God' and keep
quiet."

When his stop came, he paused momentarily at the door, and then
he handed the quarter to the driver and said, "Here, you gave me too much change."
The driver, with a smile, replied, "Aren't you the new preacher
in town?"

"Yes" he replied.

"Well, I have been thinking a lot lately about going somewhere
to worship. I just wanted to see what you would do if I gave you
too much change. I'll see you at church on Sunday."

When the preacher stepped off of the bus, he literally grabbed
the nearest light pole, held on, and said, "Oh God, I almost sold
your Son for a quarter."

Our lives are the only Bible some people will ever read. This is
a really scary example of how much people watch us as Christians,
and will put us to the test! Always be on guard -- and remember --

You carry the name of Christ on your shoulders when you call yourself "Christian."

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

Mantou at 11:42 PM

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Sunday, April 27, 2008

Are there opposites for everything under the sun?

Just wondering about this question as I look back on the day's events. Perhaps the highlight of it was a two second event that led to me thinking about how much life has changed since then. That, my friends, is the power of nostalgia. All that was needed was a glance at a place that bore so much significance yet looked so nondescript. Get the idea? Is the opposite of significance, nondescript? Is the opposite of nostalgia something else? In any case, before the habit of digression gets the better of me, I passed by a place today. Here's what it looks like.


As you can see, it really doesn't look like anything significant. But it was at that very spot (the platform between the stairs) that I trembled and shivered uncontrollably after having been slain and ministered to by the Spirit. This the stairway that leads to and from what was then known as FCBC, now known as Touch Community Services. At that moment, I pondered about what I was doing with my life, and suddenly the thought that had seemed so impossible for so long seemed so feasible; going home. All that I had been going through for the past eleven months away from home had suddenly seemed so futile and redundant. If ever there was a way to experience how the prodigal son felt away from home, this had to be it for me. The memory of it is still as fresh as though it had just happened yesterday. Truth be told, this happened four years ago. Since then, life has never been the same for me. Ironically, where I sought to escape a life that was deemed to be so unbearable and determined to make life never the same again, I had failed miserably and gained nothing but needless pain. When I thought going home meant going back to same oppressive environment, I couldn't have been farther from the truth. The rest is history. Or His Story. And only a God that was so powerful yet more involved in our lives than we could ever imagine would or could be responsible for such orchestration of events. I know I made a mess of His plans for me and my family. In some ways, I still am messing up. Somehow, in some mysterious way, the Beautiful Weaver would still be able to make a tapestry out of it too wonderful to behold.

" But the harder I try the more clearly can I feel
The depth of our fall and the weight of it all
And so this might could be the most impossible thing
Your grandness in me making me clean" David Crowder, Wholly Yours.

"Get out of the way, a revival's coming,
Get out, be on your way, our Redeemer's coming
Let's empty ourselves of ourselves, and let the Spirit fill our lamps" Vincent Wang, Out of the way.

Mantou at 10:10 PM

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Saturday, April 26, 2008

From my devotion.. So true..

Writes Lewis, "If you asked twenty good men today what they thought the highest of the virtues, nineteen of them would reply, Unselfishness. But if you had asked almost any of the great Christians of old, he would have replied, Love. You see what has happened? A negative term has been substituted for a positive, and this is of more than philosophical importance."(1) He goes on to explain the ideologies that grow out of subtle shifts of language. The positive answer requires a perspective that looks outward at others--those who are the recipients of the virtue or else the one from whom this virtue arises in the first place--whereas the negative virtue shows that our concern is primarily with ourselves--our own self-denial--and hence the appearance of good virtue.

Mantou at 10:29 AM

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Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Random Recollections

I find funny things lurking about in my cobweb of memories. Here's just how it looks like. I had a friend once in primary school. His name is Tarvin. He is North Indian. The best way to remember him by is his hooked nose that seemed to be made of rubber, which he loved to push upwards with his palm from time to time. I remember thinking in my young mind if that made it hook more. He was a really sincere fella, even at that age of seven or eight. I remember confiding in him my belief that I had step-parents. That poor guy drank in every word I said about that issue! When asked by a teacher about things happening at home, he helped me to answer, reciting what I said, word for word! Of course, he was also the one that got me into trouble even though he wanted to help. Haha. He must have learned a big lesson on trust back then. I had lied about my situation in order to explain away my naughty behavior. Of course there was more truth in what I said than anyone could believe in the way I was treated, but the fact that I lied made me lost all credibility. Haiz. I learned a big lesson on credibility that day too.

Mantou at 11:25 PM

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Sunday, April 20, 2008

The thanksgiving post

I finally got my results back.. *phew* It's been a cruel wait I tell you.. Here's why.. For this module, I did well for my first assignment, though I could have done better if I had bothered to end my essay with a conclusion. Haha. Then for the second assignment, I spent three nights in the National Library researching and referencing.. And the results took forever to be released as opposed to the first one. When I got that back, I was really happy too cos it was a tough assignment but I managed to do above the class average. Then came the exam, and it was really such a letdown because it looked so tough.. And I didn't even manage to answer the last question properly because I didn't manage to study that part. I had to rely on my own experience in counseling to answer that one. I thought that on the overall, with two assignments doing well and the exam not so well it would have just given me a decent grade.. But as God would graciously have it, I did well for all three! It's really amazing. I look back now, considering the demands of staying committed to both my job and my studies, and think that it must have been a really good dose of God's amazing grace. And thank God for all He's done. He's the best and beats the rest hands down. =)

As a wave offering, here are the results:
1st Assignment: 15.5 / 20
2nd Assignment: 23 / 30
Exam: 41 / 50! this is the most surprising.. It was only two hours given for the paper so had to scramble to make the most of the time given to answer 4 essay questions. Praise God.
Overall Grade: 79.5 / 100 (Another half mark to high distinction)

Mantou at 9:06 PM

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Saturday, April 19, 2008

Song Writing Machine + a Back Log of my Blog

That's what my colleague called me today. =) It's kinda funny. I have never written so many songs in such a short spate of time before. It may be old news for some already, but I really wanna log this down just for future reference. Since I graduated from Tung Ling Bible College last Sept, where I was first inspired to write a song to log my experience with God thus far, I have written another grand total of 6 songs! That brings my repertoire to a total of 9 songs! Each with its own unique flavor and story to tell, right down to the kind of rhythm and style. I realized I can't really publish my lyrics and all cos it wouldn't make sense, and it might just be copyrighted by someone else someday! Haha.. But titles are pretty safe, so here's a list of it, from most recent:

- Out Of The Way
- Now You Live (initially it was called Wild Goose Chase)
- A New Voice
- You Desire
- A House Of Cards
- A Touch Of Grace
- You Gave Your All
- Radical?
- You Are God (你是主)

Haha.. Actually it still doesn't make sense to my readers hor.. Anyway, I realized then that this is really a work of God in my life, just to tide me through this time as a testimony that He is real and that He cares. I hope to share it to people someday, but I pray that the platform that God provides is really for an audience that will be there by divine appointment. If not it would just be a music critique session. May the songs that God used to speak to me speak to others too.

Ok so what's been happening to me? Most of my life has been kept away from the public eye lately huh.. Haha.. So sorry readers. A combination of lack of time, fatigue, closer personal friendships that require genuine sharing and exclusivity has contributed to a lack of personal voice in my blog lately. But life's been pretty exciting lately! Most of you know this already, but just to log it down in my good old fashioned way, I had bought a guitar again this year! What happened to my old one? I gave it away last year to a Sri Lankan classmate from Tung Ling. I know it's being utilized to the best of its ability right now. But I am absolutely in love with my new guitar! I even named it! Ladies and gentlemen, meet Nodame (ノダメ), my ever faithful 'wife' who's been my worthy companion in my songwriting endeavors. The tone produced is so pear-shaped and nice that it just inspires the songs to flow.

Ok the picture doesn't really justify its lustre and all but it really is quite close to the real thing and I'm afraid you'll have to settle for it unless you know me personally. It's recently been fitted with the world-renown pickup system, B-Band, complete with in-built tuner! Boasting high definition Elixir Strings, it really is set to blow the audience away with its perfect tones (Beauty is in the eye of the beholder aye. In this case, it's also in the ears).

What else rocks in my life? Hmm.. Close chumships (apparently 'cheem' english for same gender friendships), been watching wonderful movies like the one I just blogged about, still looking forward to that mid-year trip I mentioned earlier. We gotta sit down and plan this one guys!

What's not so rock but more rocky? Hmm.. When there's a lesson to learn I usually reflect on it and it becomes a song. So until I manage to hold some sort of testimonial concert, it's staying as a song filed in my folder. =) All the best to you exam mugger buggers!

Mantou at 12:57 AM

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Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Whoa whoa yeah yeah..

Haha.. Bring it on! Changes in dynamics at the workplace always resonates through my senses.. I can almost sense the stress and sharp contention that's gonna happen tingle through my skin. Eleventh hour requests that sound like demands, frantic scrambles to put together a program without any inkling what it's supposed to be like; headless chickens are gonna be running all over the place tomorrow! *somewhere far away a cricket creaks*...

Tell me how "do not be anxious but in anything and EVERYTHING, present your requests to God through prayer and petition, with supplication and thanksgiving" is supposed to play out in a situation like this. God just has this thing about letting the odds stack up against Him and coming through in a way only He can.

For the first time in a long long time, we're supposed to plan a welcome tea for those who responded during last week's event. And eventually it'll branch out into weekly sessions to facilitate growth as a believer. Wow. I like the sound of it. But at such short notice? What's the expectation for us then? Was it because we were supposed to do something like that but it was overlooked? Was it because we had a different idea of what works and what doesn't? Was it because from previous experience this works so let's make it happen while the iron is still hot? Perhaps some opportunities can't afford to be lost. This means a sacrifice on our side. I hope this brings the team together to work hand in hand to get something going. Prayer really is the key at this point. I like to be stretched. So I can really learn to depend on God. But are we all on the same page?

Mantou at 10:18 PM

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Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Thankful - Josh Groban

Somedays, we forget to look around us,
Somedays, we can't see the joy that surrounds us,
So caught up inside ourselves,
We take when we should give,
So for tonight we pray for,
What we know can be,
And on this day we hope for,
What we still can't see,
It's up to us, to be the change,
And even though we all can still do more,
There's so much to be thankful for,
Look beyond ourselves,
There's so much sorrow,
It's way to late to say, I'll cry tomorrow
Each of us must find our truth,
It's so long overdue,

So for tonight we pray for,
What we know can be,
And everyday, we hope for,
What we still can't see,
It's up to us, to be the change,
And even though we all can still do more,
There's so much to be thankful for,
Even with our differences,
There is a place were all connected,
Each of us can find each others light,
So for tonight, we pray for
What we know can be,
And on this day, we hope for,
What we still can't see,
It's up to us, to be the change,
And even though this world can still do so much more
There's so much to be thankful for.

Mantou at 10:45 PM

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